Dear Washington, D.C., commuters,

I would like to take this opportunity to apologize for a wee bit of congestion you might have encountered this morning in front of my house.

We got home yesterday evening while the restaurants were still doing brisk business, leaving no Tuesday-side spots available. I told Rudi to park on Florida and that I’d move the car later.

What did I not do last night? Move the car off of Florida.

I am the first to be annoyed by people who thoughtlessly inconvenience others, so please know that I feel terrible about having bottlenecked your commute this morning. That it happened on a Monday, when you’re already hating life, makes it even more guilt-inducing.

While I’m sure you were all disappointed that the traffic cops did not tow my car out of your way, please rest assured that the ticket I found on my windshield after I woke up and exclaimed, “Oh! Fuck!” will serve as no small deterrent to my remembering to park legally for rush hour in the future.

I hope the city does something nice with my money like fix a pot hole along your commute.

And I hope Monday improves seriously for both of us after this.

Contritely,

sprite of the Colgate-green Geo