I haven’t been so good about posting non-Thursday entries for a while now. Some of it’s been event-related stress, much of which is now past or, at least, de-escalated. Some of it’s been tiredness and malaise and depression. But generally it’s been all-encompassing, not just here on the blog.
This week, though, maybe things are a little lighter. I read a couple of books. I called a friend. I started thinking about where I want my life to go next from here and how I might find myself there. And I’ve knit a bit. So I thought I might also write a little something here.
I don’t have any answers yet. And maybe there are no answers. Maybe there’s just putting one foot in front of the other and moving in one direction or another. Maybe any direction is just as good as the rest, as long as you’re moving. Treading water may be fine if you’re stuck in the middle of the ocean, but just staying afloat is no way to live a life if at the end of it you’re not going to be filled with regrets. And if making no moves is going to lead to that, then it’s the same as actively choosing disappointment.
I reject that choice.
So instead I choose motion. I opt to creep — slowly if need be — away from stasis. I will crawl, walk, hop, scramble my way from would-haves and should-haves. And if I encounter a dead end, which I will most certainly do at some point, I will inch, skip, run, twirl in some other direction.
I am done waiting. Life, I’m on the move.